Saturday, January 21, 2006
well.. some people live "carefreely" some dont.. gotta praise the Lord if they do.. but for those who dont.. hmm.. i guess they shud learn how to overcome it.. but people always live in fear.. =S fear is always ard ani1.. and tis really scarie.. =( for me.. i live in fear every now and den.. esp. fear of losing everything.. everyone ard me.. esp. my dearer ones.. all those impt to me.. those who left real big and deep footprints in my heart and mind.. people tend to do bird things dat resulted in losing something.. of cos.. nuthin in this world is fair.. you gain something you'll lose something.. =( well.. i am currently living in a very fearful world.. i can feel the tensity in myself.. i can feel dat the trust is getting thinner.. although it is always dat thick.. =S bahhh i think too much perhaps.. but i realli dont knoe wart i should do to turn the table ard.. well.. i am selfish.. i was the best of all worlds.. to have at least a lil bit maybe.. and well.. it all depends on time mgt.. tis da most impt component.. i sucked at it.. being always late for mit ups or lessons.. being always having no discipline in studies.. =( i am about to admit defeat.. but i hope i still can hold on.. and hang thru graduation.. get a stable job.. and simply gain my confidence.. arhghg.. i start to think dat im a super pampered baby.. just dat i dont show out to certain people.. some others might not know the real me i bet.. but those who knew.. either cant be bothered wif me when im being wildful.. some others cant.. dey simply reprimanded me for being like dis.. ho! i really gotta thank all these peepx.. but despite all these.. hmm.. i guess im gonna realli set my priorities well enuff so dat i wont feel sorry for myself.. =S and till next time. ha! i beta get cracking on my tuts.. all you guys.. esp. missy and mei.. i guess u guys are realli struggling hard for dis sem.. missy! heh.. i bet ur innovex is a success!! :D and yep.. hope to mit u real so0n.. and jiayou yea! days to graduation is getting lesser!! and mei.. despite da fact dat u dint do well for ur c tests.. comon! you stilll got time to chiong for exams!! jiayou alright.. dont give up!! you're not @ the losing end... i failed 2 tests.. which i think i shouldnt fail.. and i am super disappointed in myself.. but tell urself.. you're not gonna give up.. human's mind power is always the strongest 1.. and the most hiong element!! heh.. ok i crapped too much.. but yep.. jiayou alright.. im always wif u guys no matter wart. =) love u all..
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
TODAY SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
hmmm.. tis still raining.. =( things aint changing for da beta.. oh well.. treat it as im pessimistic and im ALWAYS pessimistic.. wart to do.. sumtimes for stuffs u gotta prepare for da worst.. so u gotta think bad stuffs.. hmm.. maybe dats wart i grew up with.. i always think.. alright i shall think for da worst.. at least when da outcome is a gud 1.. ok thank GOD for dat.. =) but if tis not.. alright.. im prepared for it.. aint it beta? when u think for da better and things turned out to be worst?! ha.. different way of interpreting it i bet.. but well.. people always sae.. if once or twice still ok.. wart if tis always lidat?! ha! tis gonna be real sway man!! and i realised human beings knoe how to tell people do things and dey themselves dont do.. l0lx.. i realli assure dats human nature.. >.<>
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
oh well.. sucks big time.. rain and rain and rain.. and of all times rained at sucha late hour.. but alright.. a gud nite to slp also.. im all drenched! omg.. baaa... dont knoe wart to sae either.. stuffs all undone.. dont wanna sae much liao.. life is always like dis.. hoho! hopefully it'll stop raining on CNY.. if not i guess =S tis gonna be a real wet dae! >.<
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
daes passed and all.. it will kip passing.. yep.. wart da heck im talking bout! ha.. just crap ard la.. brrr.. hmm.. it seemed to me dat we have lesser stuffs to talk about.. but errr... guess we're just tired la.. l0l.. so bored.. dint managed to get my new yr clothings dis time rd.. hmm maybe ive got half of it.. ha! i got myself a skirt.. hopefully im able to wear them.. l0lx.. as i dint get a chance to wear da 1 i bot last yr on CNY.. hmm.. hopefully i'll be able to get the top i wan and da heels im thinkin of getting.. arhghg... so sian.. we're old le.. it seemed like tis time for me to take up more more responsibilities.. woo... and im gonna turn 21 soon.. l0l.. dis yr is a hmm.. special year for all 1985s.. ha! oh! and did i mention dat i simply love the monkey dat missy got for me and the special msg shes inserted into dat monkey! ha! and yep.. i'll neber change the message no matter wart.. tis meaningful!! l0l.. thanks dear! you're sucha sweetie!! l0lx.. hmm.. other dan dat.. well.. guess im tired le la.. ha! kinda abit talk rot.. but please.. lemme pass my c tests and pass my exams smo0thly!! pleasE!!!! :S and i wanna go out work!! work work!!! earn as much cash as i can.. and lead a hmm.. wif cash life... l0lx.. alright.. shant sae much.. shall go do my stuffs le.. =x
Sunday, January 08, 2006
in dis world.. no matter wart.. to sustain ani relationship, you have to trust da person.. and communication is da best method and component to sustain them.. well.. of cos it keeps the relationship going and all.. be it bgr.. friendship.. etc.. tis super important! =) long time ago.. dere was dis couple who loved each other deeply.. but after some time.. dey seemed to be hmm.. kinda on da rocks.. everytime dey mit.. they'll at least feel unhappi for some time and not a time where they really enjoy.. but on the other hand.. both cherish one another so deeply.. since some time ago.. both of dem stopped communicating.. and the lady can feel da drift.. it seemed like deres a barrier in between dem.. and finally.. the lady speak up.. telling da gentleman bout how she felt and all.. finally.. dat gentleman said.. said everything he felt towards da lady.. and da lady realised everything.. well.. and of cos.. dey vouched to move on and go thru every obstacles dat comes ahead to them.. hmm.. it might not b a touching story or wart.. but at least both simply assured one another and make known to one another bout how they felt.. and i can sae da lady's simply too childish and silly.. tis time she shud change for the beta.. =)
well.. tis gonna be a real solemn one.. tis realli gotta do to the word TRUST... well.. dont knoe if tis me or wart.. i have made a real mess in other peepx life.. and i might have created a mess in my life too.. gosh.. well.. it must be me.. shud have let da stuffs go deep down in my heart and not revealing it out at all.. why am i so big mouth.. haikz.. and on the other hand.. alright it is not your fault but why the hell tis so coincidental.. gosh.. i really dont knoe wart to sae.. it happen to be dat she knows her! gosh.. and now.. disaster strucked.. it seemed like im havin endless problems since last yr.. and till now.. life is never beta at all.. i dont understand why... i will sae tis my fault.. wholly my fault.. but it seemed like some1's trying to test me.. wanna test me if i think dey are trustable or not.. it seemed like those images in sec sch is coming back.. and im way over my own limits on treating friends.. well.. isit time for me to tone down? i guess i shud.. and i shant sae much bout any other stuffs animore.. i have the urge for coming out to clarify everything.. but i scared it might make things worst.. haikz.. im sucha big f*cking mouth.. gosh.. haikz.. arhghghghghghghg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope all dis dont affect our relationship man.. haikz.. i might sound selfish.. but well.. whos not.. tis related to us.. i cant let anithing happen.. =( things just happen as and when they want.. it seemed like im starting to be unable to take animore blows.. everyone have their own problems.. well.. i hope things will go for the beta.. and things wont go bad! pleasE!! and thinking bout people unhappie wif me.. i'll feel bad.. real bad.. and as to why dis will happen. ha! it all happen just as it wanted.. tis fate and destiny.. no 1 can avoid dat.. and i hope dis 2 dont tear us apart.. for i beg for a gud ending for us.. and now.. i knoe who to trust and who not to.. just becos i wanna get close to you.. you betrayed my trust.. forget it man.. tis the end.. im SO SILLY!!!!!
Thursday, January 05, 2006
oh well.. another disastrous wk.. 2006 aint dat gud after all i guess.. or maybe tis just the beginning.. c tests sucked.. =S i can confirm and i know dat i dint do well enuff to pass thru my own targeted goals.. =( well.. kinda feeling depressed but nvm.. retest is gonna be my friend again.. people laffed when i said dat.. alright.. i did joke on myself too.. but deep down in my heart.. it hurts.. not dat dey laffed.. but my performance for dis c test.. simply below average.. i sucked big time and silly me.. no discipline at all.. not to sae bout my motivation.. it seemed like it disappeared... =( hopefully im able to make it thru but kinda dont feel gud... bout my results.. =S sumore my advisor.. arhghg... tis her!!! omg.. well.. i have to do my best in my exams le.. if not.. i'm gonna graduate a sem later.. and i DONT WANT!!!!! ='(